13 September 2010

Cramped Quarters

Day 281

Dear Diary,
Sometimes the walls in here change a little. Everything gets hard and tense. It's been happening for awhile. But lately, at those times, I like to push my head down into the small space just below me. It's snug and close and my head just fits. When it happens again and again, the big movements stop. My whole vessel becomes very still.

This happened last week, again and again. At first it was very tight each time. The vessel became still as it repeated. Then, slowly, it wasn't so tight any more. At first it almost seemed like the walls were trying to push me out. I guess the only place for me to go would be down, but I don't understand how. The snug place below me doesn't seem to go anywhere. Everything is still dark, anyway. I liked the feeling of the walls, though, even though I don't know where I would go.

Anyway the walls pushed like that for awhile and then they just stopped. I wonder what would happen if they would keep going.

Sometimes, when I kick my feet or move my arms, I start to feel what it would be like to straighten them out. I think I might like to try that. But there's not very much room in here; it seems to get smaller all the time. I have to nudge everything around in order to get anywhere.

Still hearing the same noises. Whoosh, and a high song, and a low song, and a bouncy song.
I always hear the whoosh, but sometimes I stop paying attention to it. I notice that sometimes the songs all sing, and sometimes only one or two of the songs, and sometimes none of the songs. Sometimes I hear songs that don't sound like the main ones. I like the high and the low and the bouncy songs the best.

That's all for now.